New rumors about Chrysler selloffs
With Dodge selling the Viper assembly line and putting the PT Cruiser line up for sale, some media outlets have been amusing themselves (and getting cheap ad dollars) with making up new rumors. Here is the result of our line of inquiry.
A representative from Subaru noted that they are not interested in buying the full LX lineup. “While we find the Charger and Challenger to be interesting cars, not all of them are all wheel drive, so they don’t really fit into our portfolio at this time.”
A Mitsubishi representative said, “While we are currently selling Dodge Dakotas as the Raider, the full Dakota assembly line does not fit our needs at this time.”
Toyota president Wanatabe was quoted as saying, “While the Dodge Caliber does use numerous Denso parts, we are not interested in buying the Belvedere assembly plant at this time. We feel that we are adequately represented in the small car and SUV line with the Toyota Blade and RAV4.”
Bob Wagoner, likewise, noted that while the Ram would use a shared hybrid-electric transmission with the GM pickups, that GM had no interest in buying the Warren plant to build Rams under the Chevrolet brand.
George W. Bush, in a rare unscripted interview, also disclaimed interest in acquiring the Jeep brand or, specifically, the Toledo Supplier Park.
A Porsche representative said the German company had considered renting out the CTC, until Cerberus representatives informed them it was not for sale.
Bill Ford expressed no interest in acquiring the testing facility Chrysler recently purchased from Ford, or in buying the former refrigerator plant currently home to numerous Jeep/Truck engineers.
Finally, Burger King denied rumors that it was attempting to purchase the Windsor Assembly Plant in order to build minivans around its own cup sizes.
LOL :-D thanks for posting these good ones Dave!
Maybe we could imagine the other way around for more silly rumors from these “journalists” and “analysts” ;-)
-Carlos Ghosn decided to do more cuts at Nissan, the next-gen Nissan GT-R will use the Challanger platform and the drivetrains.
-Honda drops the “Excrement”…..errr I mean Element from their line-up and try to buy the PT Cruiser tooling rights. And the Marysville plant accept the UAW and it happened before hell freeze, before the Cubs wins the World Series and the Toronto Maple Leafs bring back the Stanley cup in Toronto.
-20thCentury-Fox studios and Universal studios joinned their forces together to do a remake of both “road movies” Duel and Vanishing Point into one big blockbuster titled “Duel at the Vanishing Point”, don’t worry the new Challenger will win the fight against the old red Peterbuilt truck and the bulldozers ;-)
-the Chrysler 200C who replace the Sebring will be the main star of a new sequel to The Fast and the Furious movie series which sparked a big interest to the drivers who abandonned their old Civic Si, Mitsu EVO and Subaru WRX for the 200C. Ok I dreamed really big for this one but as long we’re allow it to dream about it, it’s not a problem ;-)
Oh wow. This is one random blog! It made me laugh so hard!
GM, Ford, Honda, Nissan, VW, BMW, and Toyota will pool together to buy the mothballed Neon tooling. The purchasing group said the tooling would be cut, shredded, melted down and buried in an unknown location. A spokesperson for the group said “this will ensure that thing will never terrorize our cars ever again in SCCA showroom stock.” An unnamed source said GM and Ford were also interested in a pooled purchase of Mopar Performance.
We “gave away” 35% of Chrysler to FIAT! You have got to be kidding me. Who is their right mind would make this deal? This is worse then Eaton selling Chrysler down the river to the Germans. Now we are hooked up with the “Fix It Again Tony” company that couldn’t give away cars in the U.S.? Now thats a great move. Just go ahead and close the doors and get it over with. Now Chrysler is 54% foreign owned. You think Congress and the American people are going to pump anymore taxpayer money into Chrysler? Ain’t gonna happen folks. Chrysler is done, finished, put a fork in it.
We sold 35% of Chrysler for what I’d estimated at $15 billion in avoided development and startup costs… that said, I’m about to change some aspects of the editorial.
This is in response to Glenns’ comment. They didn’t give anything away. They are saving themselves from years of neglect, abuse and rude treatment by the Germans, and certain unnamed Americans. I will name those Jotos’, Eaton, Iaccoca for putting Eaton in as his predecessor, Tom LaSorda, I hope they throw his sorry butt out, for conspiring with the enemy (Daimler Struddel). Now Glenn, be happy for Chrysler, its’ employees’, the fact that, Thank God, it is saved from being sold off in pieces, disassembled, and for all eternity, my beloved American Icon gone! That, in my opinion, is a fate worse than death!
James I wish I had your “confidence” this is going to save them….I just don’t see it. I hope you are right, I really do.
Wild stuff…right after Mitsubishi just announced that they are ending the Raider pickup due to poor sales of the Mitsu branded Dodge Dakota…so obviously Mitsu wouldn’t want the factory
AND…Warren truck to build Rams under Chevy?? The horror…the horror…
JS
listen up chysler execs….please bering back the durango and aspen suv…best handling and performing suvs in the usa…..wake up chysler b4 its too late….